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Old 12-11-06, 05:26 PM   #31
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Backside firework prank backfires

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A man suffered internal burns when he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Bonfire Night.

Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland.

He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.

A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.

Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.
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Old 12-11-06, 11:39 PM   #32
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Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland.
I find it interesting how they took time to identify what firework it was

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Old 13-11-06, 08:52 AM   #33
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Underwear is important
(from Northwest Florida Daily News - 15 May 2006)
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment,she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked acrossthe hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
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Old 25-12-06, 09:27 AM   #34
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Not quite an amusing story... but a little odd -

Santa Dies infront of kids

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CHILDREN watched in horror as a Santa Claus collapsed and died as he handed out presents at a Christmas party.

Andrew Robertson, 82, took ill as excited youngsters were being given their gifts.

He was taken to a side room, still dressed in a Father Christmas outfit, and attempts were made to revive him.

But when medics arrived, he was pronounced dead.
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Old 30-12-06, 03:45 PM   #35
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New Port Richey, Florida — A teenager has been hospitalized with facial injuries caused when a bullet he found fired while held in a vice, the Pasco County Sheriff's Office reported Wednesday.

The victim, Alex Carman, 15, was taken to Bayfront Medical Center with injuries to the right upper cheek.

Investigators say the Riverridge H.S. student found a 380 bullet on the side of a road, brought it home and put it into a vice. He apparently struck the the primer end of the bullet with a metal screw, causing it to fire.

They say a 22-caliber bullet pierced with a screw was also found near the vice. On the ground was a hammer and a small pool of blood.

Investigators say it "appears Alex placed the bullet in the vice, hammered a screw into the primer causing the bullet to explode."

They say it appears to be an accidental injury. There were no charges.
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Old 05-01-07, 09:35 AM   #36
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CRAFTY Paul Bates sent a Christmas card to a long-lost pal in this envelope with NO street name, NO town, NO postcode — yet it arrived!

The steel worker, 48, had forgotten the name of the town workmate Peter O’Leary moved to from Neath, South Wales, three years ago.

But he recalled Peter had pointed it out on a map. So he put a dot on a sketch of the South West Peninsula, wrote “somewhere here” and hoped for the best.

Amazingly the card arrived at Peter’s home in Bude, North Cornwall, nine days later — after his postie recognised the name in a local sorting office.

The pals are now back in contact and plan to meet soon. Peter, 48, now a driving instructor, said: “It was very inventive.”


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Old 09-01-07, 11:57 AM   #37
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An Austrian couple have had their marriage postponed for 10 weeks because the bride said "no" as a joke when the registrar asked during the civil ceremony whether she would take this man to be her husband, a newspaper reported.

Despite the entreaties of the bride, who said immediately she had just meant it in jest, the officiating registrar at once broke off the heavily attended ceremony in the town of Steyr, said the newspaper Oberoesterreichische Nachrichten.

Austrian regulations stipulate that there must be a postponement of at least 10 weeks should one of the parties respond in the negative when asked during the ceremony whether he or she consents to the union.

The newspaper explained that this was to ensure that a non-consenting party did not withdraw the reply "no" and consent to the union under pressure from his or her family, the newspaper explained.
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Old 11-01-07, 10:11 PM   #38
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A smoked meat producer and pub food provider was ordered to change the name of its Welsh Dragon Sausages to stop confusion over its main ingredient. The move has been labelled an example of 'the nanny state at its worst' after trading standards officers swooped on the firm at the tail end of last year.

Black Mountains Smokery head Jonathan Carthew said: "This is the nanny state at its worst. I don't think any of our customers actually believe that we use dragon meat in our sausages."
The Publican

The article goes on to damn our Nanny State describing it as "incredibly anal".

Very true.
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Old 12-01-07, 09:16 AM   #39
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Black Mountains Smokery head Jonathan Carthew said: "This is the nanny state at its worst. I don't think any of our customers actually believe that we use dragon meat in our sausages."
Wouldn't quite be so bold with that statement it is the welsh and they gave us Church.
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Old 01-02-07, 04:08 PM   #40
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Man loses wife in game of cards -

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A Russian man lost his wife in a game of cards after putting her up as a stake instead of cash.

Andrei Karpov from Murmansk had run out of money in a game of poker and offered his opponent his wife instead of cash to stay in the game.

When he lost the game and his opponent Sergey Brodov turned up to claim his winnings his wife Tatiana was so angry she decided to divorce her husband and started a relationship with Brodov.
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I wonder how much she was worth?

"I raise you £20"

"Erm, I have nothing left... I'll give you my wife?"

"Done!"

**EDIT** Model on TV show drops half million £ mirror -

Quote:
A model was showing the ancient mirror to the audience when it slipped from her hands and fell to the floor.

It shattered into pieces, shocking the audience - especially owner Chen Fengjiu who was sitting in the front row.

Fengjui, a renowned mirror collector, said: "The mirror has been part of my collection for 16 years and is the best one out of more than 1,000 mirrors."

The mirror, from the Warring States Period of Ancient China, was being exhibited on China Central Television's Artwork Investment programme.

It was gold plated, embedded with 11 turquoise stones and the whole body was coated with intricate carvings.

The host of the show immediately cancelled the rest of the programme after the accident and the producer said he would seek expert help to repair the mirror.

Fengjiu has not - so far at least - taken any legal action against the programme.


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Old 08-02-07, 09:00 AM   #41
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Missing for 25 years after getting on wrong bus

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Unable to speak, read or write Thai, Jaeyaena Beuraheng boarded a bus in Malaysia thinking it was bound for Narathiwat, one of three Muslim-majority provinces in Buddhist Thailand's far south.
Click to learn more...

Instead, she ended up 1,200 km (750 miles) to the north in Bangkok. Her predicament grew worse when she boarded a bus she thought was heading south only to end up in Chiang Mai, another 700 km to the north, the Nation newspaper reported.

She eked out a living as a beggar for five years before being arrested in 1987 and put into a centre for homeless people in a nearby province, where she has remained ever since.


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Old 11-02-07, 08:59 AM   #42
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I quite like this one -

Long Island Man Charged With Impersonating Cop Had Own 'Police Station'

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Henry Terry had all the right accessories to impersonate a police officer, prosecutors say: authentic-looking uniforms, a car with lights and sirens, a pair of handcuffs. But Terry took it a step further, setting up a personal police station where he kept records of possible crimes and sometimes interrogated "suspects" who were handcuffed to a chair, said Suffolk County District Attorney Thomas Spota.
You're kinda wondering as you read through, did this guy just really want to be a ploceman... then you get to -

Quote:
But prosecutors said he asked some victims for cash in exchange for their release. They were never taken to a real police station.

The grand larceny charge stems from an incident in which Terry is accused of convincing the owner of a sport utility vehicle to give him the SUV to use in a supposed undercover investigation. Terry is accused of swapping the driver's vehicle for another one and $600 cash, the district attorney said.


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Old 17-02-07, 07:09 PM   #43
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An Eyre Peninsula man is the talk of the town after catching a bronze whaler shark in his hands and wrestling it up onto a jetty.

Phillip Kerkhof from Louth Bay was at the local jetty when the 1.3-metre shark began chasing squid lures.

He says he climbed down a ladder and began to follow the shark in shallow water.

"I just snuck up behind him and eventually I went for the big grab and I fluked it and got him," he said.

"He's just thrashing around in the water but then he was starting to turn around and try to bite me and I thought 'well, it's amazing what vodka does'."

The only damage from the dangerous species was a bite mark to his jeans.

"It's not something I'd recommend to do. When I sobered up I thought about it and I said, 'I'm a bit of an idiot doing it'," Mr Kerkhof said.


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Old 18-02-07, 09:08 AM   #44
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Not really amusing, but -

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Police called to a Long Island man's house discovered the mummified remains of the resident, dead for more than a year, sitting in front of a blaring television set.

The 70-year-old Hampton Bays, New York, resident, identified as Vincenzo Ricardo, appeared to have died of natural causes. Police said on Saturday his body was discovered on Thursday when they were called to the house over a burst water pipe.

"You could see his face. He still had hair on his head," Newsday quoted morgue assistant Jeff Bacchus as saying. The home's low humidity had preserved the body.

Officials could not explain why the electricity had not been turned off, considering Ricardo had not been heard from since December 2005.

Neighbors said when they had not seen Ricardo, who was diabetic and had been blind for years, they assumed he was in the hospital or a long-term care facility.
It's kinda sad to think the guy can die and no-one would notice but I guess this happens more than you would think...

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OMG, what about this one -

Quote:
CUTLER BAY An elderly woman who had been living without power in her home due to hurricane damage was finally seeing the light Friday night, when power to her home was restored. What makes her story amazing is that the hurricane which put her in the dark was Andrew, almost 15 years ago, and she's been living without power to her house since August 24, 1992.
I get annoyed if our house should lose power for a couple of minutes... but 15 years!?!?!?

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Old 28-02-07, 08:37 AM   #45
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Default 11 dead, over 100 injured at Pakistani kite flying festival,

OMG, what kinda of kite festival is this?!?!?

Quote:
The deaths and injuries were caused by stray bullets, sharpened kite-strings, electrocution and people falling off rooftops on Sunday at the conclusion of the two-day Basant festival, said Ruqia Bano, spokeswoman for the emergency services in the city of Lahore.

The festival is regularly marred by casualties caused by sharp kite strings or celebratory gunshots fired into the air. Kite flyers often use strings made of wire or coated with ground glass to try to cross and cut a rival's string or damage the other kite, often after betting on the outcome.

Authorities temporarily lifted a ban on kite flying that was imposed following a string of deaths at the festival last year. Lahore Mayor Mian Amier Mahmood said the two-day permission to fly kites ended Sunday and that the ban has been re-imposed.

Police arrested more than 700 people for using sharpened kite strings or firing guns, and seized 282 illegally held weapons during this year's festival, said Aftab Cheema, a senior Lahore police officer.


USA Today
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